drinking problem

Help, my parents are drunk

Parents - are you a good role model for your kids or are you programming them to drink?

Alcohol is part of the British culture but with home drinking becoming so popular is it time to reevaluate what affects it could be having on children who are seeing parents drunk.

Busy lifestyles make it easy to slip into the habit of having a glass of wine or beer after a hard day but recent reports by Drinkaware suggest that 46% of 10-14-year-olds have seen at least one of their parents drunk. It is indicated that children who see their parents drunk are twice as likely to get drunk themselves. It is also estimated that one in three children live with an adult binge drinker.

Wine O'clock

I have found over the years that many of my clients drink alcohol when they’re getting the kids ready for bed or at bath time. For some, it is easy to pour a glass of wine to unwind after a days work or to reward yourself for looking after the children. However, it is important to remember that everything a child experiences becomes part of who they are. A young person's subconscious mind absorbs information around them forming their core belief system. We are being hypnotised by the world around us.

Whatever is normal to a child will feel normal to them as an adult so parents who drink could be programming children to drink themselves. Even if you don’t drink in front your children they will still pick up on alcohol habits by seeing the bottles of alcohol in the supermarket trolley or the empties the morning after in the recycling bin. Everything has an imprint on your child's mind so be careful as to what you are surrounding them with.

I have treated hundreds of clients for reducing alcohol with hypnosis and many of them do drink in front of their children. I have also helped many teenagers with all sorts of issues from exam results and sports improvement to releasing stress and worries. My teenage clients often tell me that it can be upsetting or stressful to see their parents drunk.

Regular drinking

Alcohol is a drug but it is accepted as legally part of our society which gives people the green light to drink too much. Pubs and clubs are social hubs which should be there for occasional drinks but often lure people into a culture of drinking regularly. As it is cheap and easily available to drink at home over recent years it has become a daily ritual rather than something for the weekend.

In everyday life, if someone doesn’t drink they are considered a bit of a “fuddy-duddy”. If you say you don't drink then people may think you are a recovering alcoholic. For this reason, many people can't imagine life without a drink as they want to be socially accepted by friends and family. Many peoples activities and lives may revolve around drinking. I tend to work with clients to help them reduce down although those who do want to stop altogether do so successfully. Here are some client stories to help you assess whether drinking in front of your children is a good thing or not?

Hugos story (age 14)

"My Mum thinks she is handling the drink really well but I notice she sways, slurs her words and is quite irrational when she has had a drink. In the morning she is more grumpy if she has had a lot of alcohol the night before. I hope I won't be like this with my children when I grow up. I am sure our Dad left us because of Mums drinking. It is hard to get any sense out of a parent who has had a few glasses of wine. I can see it in her eyes that she just switches off as she stops caring. She slumps on the couch with a glass of wine in her hand with the bottle on the coffee table. She tops up her glass until she finishes the bottle. I usually go to my bedroom before she starts saying silly things. Sometimes she wakes me up to tell me something because she doesn't realise it is late as she loses all sense of reality. One time she broke something I had made for a project at school. In the morning she didn't remember because she asked me why my model was broken which really irritated me. She thinks I am a typical moody teenager but actually it is her behaviour that makes me slam doors from frustration. She has no respect for herself or for me. How can I respect her if she is drunk?"

Susans story (age 48)

"I used to drink in my 20’s and 30’s, as a busy professional, it was just part of the job, everyone drank. My parents both drank so it felt perfectly normal that I would drink in front of my children. Although I never liked my parents when they were drinking as it made me feel on edge not sure which way to take them. I remember my son, aged about 5 at the time, saw me throwing up after I had mixed my cocktails. I was recently in a relationship with an alcoholic, and my son, now an impressionable 17-year-old, was witness to this mans extreme and drunken behaviour. When I later saw my son having spells of getting drunk, it was difficult for me to reprimand him as I was seen to have double standards. It was much harder for me to assert ground rules. Teenagers have enormous peer pressure to drink neat spirits, it is seen as the norm. My son’s response was “Well Mum, you did it when you were my age.” what could I say to that? I would however in hindsight wished I had seen the damage I was doing by drinking in front of him when he was young. As a parent, I want to protect my son. If I could turn the clock back I would have drunk more sensibly and perhaps I would have a better relationship with my son.”

Carolyn's story (age 42)

"My drinking has caused a lot of tension between me and my husband which filters out to the whole family. It was only when I reduced my drinking, by listening to the "Take Control of Alcohol" hypnosis recording, that I realised my drinking was having a bad effect on my daughter's behaviour. She has been excluded from school before now which I suppose made me drink more. It became a vicious cycle of my drinking and her behaviour issues. I suppose I am not a very good role model for her when I crash out drunk because I finish a whole bottle of wine on a weekday. As I reined back my drinking with the hypnosis I found I was seeing the problems more clearly with my daughter. Once I was sober she began to listen to me as she had more respect for me. Taking back control of my drinking has enhanced not only my own well being, sleep, clarity but my families quality of life has improved too. The thought of wanting to stop drinking alcohol hung over me like a big black cloud for so long. Do I miss drinking? The answer is no way, I actually feel as if I have been handed a second chance and I have my life back. I don't miss drinking one bit. I just wish I had found the hypnosis downloads earlier. I don't want my children to see their parents drunk ever again."

Chloe's story (age 18)

"I just want to say my Dad reeks of booze sitting watching TV. He becomes really annoying when he tells us what to do. His head hangs down and sometimes he dribbles, it is disgusting. Mum and dad argue over his drinking which upsets me and my sister. I find it hard to take authority from someone who I have little respect for. He 's not an alcoholic, he goes to work and only drinks in the evenings but I don't think he should drink on a work night. I don't think it is fair to see your parents drunk. I worry about his health as he may get ill from drinking too much alcohol. I do drink as everybody does."

Interested to curb your drinking?

If you are interested to take back control of your drinking try my hypnosis downloads ‘Take control of alcohol’ recording to break daily drinking habits OR 'Stop binge drinking' for bouts of excessive alcohol drinking. By reprogramming the mind the recordings will help break the bad habit of drinking and restore healthy sleep. It is easy to listen as with short tracks they can fit into your busy schedule either after work or at bedtime. Just put the volume down low and let the messages wash over you whilst you sleep. You will begin to see differences in your drinking such as pouring the dregs of wine away, leaving wine in the bottle for another day, having alcohol free nights, feeling like a herbal tea instead. You will find your mind makes different choices putting you back in control.

Take Control of Alcohol - Click here
Stop Binge Drinking for Women - Click here
Stop Binge Drinking for Men - Click here

Chapter 13 of my book "Cut The Crap and Feel AMAZING" by Hay House covers addictions and obsessions and will help you get back in control of your drinking

This entry was posted in Alcohol, stop drinking and tagged Alcohol, hypnosis, hypnotherapy, drinking problem, Alcoholic, Parents Drunk, hypnoss on 12th August 2016 by Ailsa Frank.
Drinking too much alcohol?
Help! Why am I drinking too much?

You have probably spent your whole life surrounded by alcohol which normalises it in your mind. Most people know family, friends or work colleagues who drink regularly. TV commercials for alcoholic drinks are regularly on television. Whilst advertisers use alcohol to promote other products such as sofa and kitchens which sometimes show someone with a glass of wine or a bottle of wine as a prop designed to sell you a lifestyle. British TV programs such as Eastenders, Emmerdale, and Coronation Street are based on people drinking in the pub. This is all building subliminal messages to your subconscious mind so it actually feels weirder not to drink alcohol than drink excessively. This is why hypnotherapy is a real solution to combat alcohol habits.

Your drinking habits build up like layers of an onion, every time your drink you are reinforcing the behaviour which builds habits around the alcohol and the emotions you feel at the time. The drinking layers include the emotions you feel at those times;
- Stress
- Boredom
- Worries
- Concern
- Social pressure to drink
- Drinking for the sake of it
- Happiness having fun
- Celebration
- Switching off from daily life
- To help you get to sleep
- Cope with financial worries
Drinking alcohol also may have masked confidence issues which usually begin at an earlier age. Hypnotherapy helps build your confidence as you let go of excess drinking.

Just as someone learns to drive a car or tie their shoelaces, once you have learned to do something it is hard to forget it. In the same way, once you have learned to drink alcohol in a certain way it is hard to change the habit. On top of this, you have the cravings to deal with as most people like the taste. You may be rewarding yourself with alcohol after a hard day and you may look forward to a drink for social enjoyment. All of these feelings make it harder to stop drinking. This is why without re-setting your subconscious mind using hypnotherapy it can be difficult to take back control of alcohol.

The best time to start taking back control is right now. Remember, anyone who drinks regularly can become an alcoholic. For those people who become alcoholics, it creeps up on them as they begin to rely on alcohol more and more. No alcoholic would imagine it could happen to them. It only takes a few life events to push you further to increase your drinking to out of control levels. An unexpected redundancy, a financial stress, family illness or bereavement can all play a part in increased alcohol consumption.

My system of alcohol reduction will help you take back control, I recommend ‘Take control of alcohol’ for everyday drinkers who want to break the habit and ‘Stop binge drinking for Women’ or ‘ Stop binge drinking for Men’ for those who drink bouts of excess alcohol. Or if you want one to one hypnotherapy phone appointments contact me through the website.

Chapter 13 of my book "Cut The Crap and Feel AMAZING" covers addictions and obsessions and will help to break alcohol habits.
This entry was posted in Alcohol, stop drinking and tagged Alcohol, Binge drinking, Drinking, hypnosis, hypnotherapy, drinking problem, Drinking too much alcohol, Why am I drinking alcohol, Drinking like an alcoholic, Alcoholic on 19th July 2016 by Ailsa Frank.
Stressed Mum who wanted to get sober
Parents have never been under so much pressure with work and family stresses meaning turning to drinking alcohol for comfort after work is a common way to cope

Karen, 45, a busy successful working Mum, reduced her alcohol drinking habits after listening to my hypnosis downloads for alcohol reduction. Read about how she became more confident, less stressed generally, drank less and banished sleepless nights. Hypnotherapy is a great way to quickly break long established bad drinking habits which can be quite life-changing for many people. As a hypnotherapist, I love working with alcohol reduction as I have seen how it takes over peoples lives but I also know how easy it is to break the bad habits when you shift the root of the problem on a subconscious level. It is very satisfying work to see people back in control of their lives in a short space of time. I interviewed Karen to see first hand how the recordings had reshaped her relationship with alcohol.

Before listening to the hypnosis for alcohol reduction:

How much alcohol were you drinking and how often?

I wouldn't drink a lot during the week. Maybe a small glass of wine three nights a week. But then we have something we call red wine Friday, with friends from my son’s school. It would happen most Fridays from 6pm ish, we would gather at one of our houses and try new varieties of red wine that we had discovered or enjoy old favourites. Sometimes, I would just share a bottle of wine with a friend, other times we would go all out and I would drink a bottle and perhaps a few liqueurs. Invariably I felt hungover the next day. On Saturday if I was feeling very hungover, I wouldn't drink, otherwise, I would have a small glass of wine at home. Perhaps two glasses of wine on a Sunday or a cocktail and if we went to a friend’s house for lunch on Sunday where I would consume at least another half bottle of wine. If there was a school function, I would drink at least a bottle of champagne or a bottle of wine.

How has your alcohol drinking increased over the years?

I’ve always drunk too much. From when I first started drinking at about the age of 15/16. My mother had a drinking problem, and I guess I took my cue from her. But I barely drank when I was pregnant with my children and my drinking definitely decreased when the kids were small. I was breastfeeding so I couldn’t drink and when they wake up so early, the thought of having a hangover is just too unbearable.

Was there an event in your life which triggered drinking more alcohol?

I started drinking more when my son started school. He goes to a private school where some of the parents think they are incredibly special and I found that a few glasses of wine definitely made them more bearable. We’ve also been through some very tough times financially and this coincided with first my mother-in-law dying of cancer and then my mother being diagnosed with bowel cancer. I definitely started hitting the bottle more regularly. I even took some of her anti-emetics for cancer after one really good alcohol binge! After she died, there was an awful lot of “celebrating her life” with champagne.

Is there pressure to drink more alcohol from friends or family? How?

Definitely. I come from a long and proud line of alcoholics, and I’ve tended to choose friends who are the same. That was one of my biggest anxieties, how people would react if I cut down on my drinking. I’m usually the life and soul of a party, I was worried about what they would say, and also if I would find them all boring, without a few drinks inside me. It was a big concern for me.

Before listening to the hypnosis alcohol recording what was your sleep like, were you waking in the night?

During the week if I kept to my one small glass of red wine, and I drank it after I had eaten something, I wasn’t too bad. But as soon as I went over one glass or drank on an empty stomach, I wouldn’t sleep. The weekends were a nightmare. I often had a terrible night’s sleep after red wine Friday. If we had a long lunch on Sunday, I would barely be able to work on Monday.

Has your alcohol drinking ever caused you embarrassment?

Without a doubt. I get outrageous when I drink. I did backward rolls on my friend’s dining room table after a particularly good Sunday lunch, I’ve danced on the table at events at my son’s school (which is not unusual, there is a group that tends to get out of hand). I’ve told the headmaster he’s got a small penis (I really wouldn’t know having never seen it) I’ve been ridiculously flirty…the list goes on!

How would you sum up how you felt about your alcohol drinking in a sentence?

Drinking doesn’t make me happy.

Where did you drink alcohol?

Being a parent I mostly drank alcohol at school events and at friends’ houses.

Did you need alcohol to give you confidence or help you have a good time?

I like the feeling of abandonment that alcohol gives me. It also helps when you’re hosting your own party or dinner party and you’re feeling anxious.

After listening to the Ailsa Frank alcohol hypnosis recordings:

I had been mulling over trying out hypnosis to stop drinking for a couple of years now. But the crunch for me came, not after the weekend of binge drinking we’d just had, but after a lunch, I went to at a girlfriend’s house on a Tuesday after the kids had gone on holiday. It was a really interesting group of women, people I didn’t know very well and I suppose I felt a slight need to impress. I drank alcohol far too quickly and immediately started getting that feeling of being out of control. I don’t actually like the initial feeling and I usually drink more alcohol to get to that real feeling of I-don’t-care-about-anything. I knew I had work to do, so I didn’t go too berserk. I probably had two to three glasses of wine and then an espresso to wake me up. But that evening I hit such a downer, I didn’t know what to do. I felt just so depressed, and not because I had said anything embarrassing or done anything wrong, I just realised that too much alcohol or drinking when I’m stressed or unhappy is basically a recipe for more unhappiness.

That was the 13^th August. I think I got the hypnosis binge drinking downloads the next day. The alcohol hypnosis downloads initially just made me want to sleep. At first, I listened to the long one, and I did it every day. I didn’t have a problem not drinking during the week but I was anxious for the weekend because I knew that the family was coming around for my son’s birthday on the Sunday and I was worried that I would drink too much. I got my husband to make me a mojito with one capful of rum and I drank that and a half a glass of wine the whole afternoon and evening. My brother-in-law got very drunk but I was pleased to find that I didn’t find him irritating, just endearing.

Becoming sober

I carried on listening to the hypnotherapy downloads, not always every day, but I was finding that I was sleeping better and despite the fact that I was very stressed about work and the kids were on holiday, I had more patience and less road rage! I also had quite an emotional response to the second hypnosis recording about your inner child. My daughter looks just like me, so every time the recording mentioned my inner child, I just pictured her and I got a real sense of how I was not being a good enough mother to her, not just with my drinking, with everything. I found that that recording reduced me to tears more than once.

The next time I drank was nearly two weeks later

It was a very strong mojito when we went out to dinner as a family. I didn’t enjoy it and I wished that I had ordered the virgin one. We then went to a family wedding, with my husband’s family who also likes a bit of a party, but I had one sherry and a glass of wine the whole night. My biggest hurdle was when my friends got back from Italy and we had our first red wine Friday after the holidays. I listened to the short hypnosis downloads twice that day and for the first time it felt automatic, I didn’t need to remind myself not to down my drink (which is my downfall). The host poured me an enormous glass of red wine (think Cougar Town size!) as I arrived, and I made it last the whole evening. I drank water, I didn’t let anyone top up my wine glass and it felt completely natural. The host got fairly merry, but again, it didn’t worry me. I went home at a reasonable time, I had a good night’s sleep. It was brilliant!

The last hurdle was sports’ day at my daughter’s school where we usually start on the champagne as soon as the bar opens. I usually find myself anxious to have the first glass, mostly because I find the competitiveness of some of the parents at these schools quite hard to take. But I drank coffee and tea, and even when two girls were particularly unkind to my daughter – they invited her to play and then told her she couldn’t come - I didn’t feel the need to drink, I just wanted to take her home.

This is what I have found since I’ve started listening to the alcohol hypnosis downloads and have cut down on my drinking:
- I’ve slept better
- I’m less hormonal
- I’ve been more motivated as far as work goes. (I’m a Film scriptwriter)
- I’ve definitely been more careful with money
- I’ve recognised that I don’t need to spend time with people who make me feel bad about myself – I think I used the drinking as a way of giving me Dutch courage to cope with that type of person
- I’m more focused on my children in a good way. Not in a hovering way. Just in the sense that I want to spend time with them doing fun things. It’s just made me more aware of being a good parent, of being there for them, instead of slumping in front of the TV with a glass of wine or going to a friend’s house and letting them get on with it while we all get pissed!
- I don’t know if I would feel comfortable in every situation but I definitely feel a lot better about not having a drink in my hand.
I have enjoyed these hypnosis downloads so much, I’m going to try the weight loss one!

I am amazed at how I go to social gatherings and I do not even feel like downing a glass of wine like I used to. It just sits there, and I sip it and I’m fine…it really, really works!

"Cut the Crap & Feel Amazing" by Hay House
"Take Control of Alcohol" Hypnosis Recording
"Stop Binge Drinking for Women" Hypnosis Recording
"Stop Binge Drinking for Men" Hypnosis Recording
This entry was posted in Alcohol, stop drinking and tagged Alcohol, Binge drinking, hypnosis, hypnotherapy, drinking problem, sober, hitting the bottle, stressed on 20th August 2015 by Ailsa Frank.

drinking problem

Help, my parents are drunk

Parents - are you a good role model for your kids or are you programming them to drink?

Wine O'clock

Regular drinking

Hugos story (age 14)

Susans story (age 48)

Carolyn's story (age 42)

Chloe's story (age 18)

Interested to curb your drinking?

Drinking too much alcohol?

Help! Why am I drinking too much?

Stressed Mum who wanted to get sober

Parents have never been under so much pressure with work and family stresses meaning turning to drinking alcohol for comfort after work is a common way to cope

Before listening to the hypnosis for alcohol reduction:

How much alcohol were you drinking and how often?

How has your alcohol drinking increased over the years?

Was there an event in your life which triggered drinking more alcohol?

Is there pressure to drink more alcohol from friends or family? How?

Before listening to the hypnosis alcohol recording what was your sleep like, were you waking in the night?

Has your alcohol drinking ever caused you embarrassment?

How would you sum up how you felt about your alcohol drinking in a sentence?

Where did you drink alcohol?

Did you need alcohol to give you confidence or help you have a good time?

After listening to the Ailsa Frank alcohol hypnosis recordings:

Becoming sober

The next time I drank was nearly two weeks later

This is what I have found since I’ve started listening to the alcohol hypnosis downloads and have cut down on my drinking:

I have enjoyed these hypnosis downloads so much, I’m going to try the weight loss one!

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